But, God has a special way of using my girls to teach me. Keziah, my almost two and a half year old, is very expressive and uses words and makes sentences in ways that are surprising to me for someone her age. Although she usually knows how to express herself and what she wants or needs, she has a special phrase that she uses for anything that she does not know how to express. "Mami, it's stuck!" If her shoes are getting too tight and they no longer fit her properly, it's stuck. If she's playing with a toy and it breaks or it is no longer working the way that it's supposed to, it's stuck. If she can't reach for something while she's strapped in her car seat, it's stuck.
Very often, this is the case in my own life. When a challenging situation occurs in my life, I don't always know how to express myself in a healthy way without hurting someone with my words or my demeanor. I refrain from saying anything in order to avoid hurting someone, so I feel emotionally "stuck". If I am challenged in a way that I feel uncomfortable with, I feel "stuck". If I am in a situation that I don't know how to handle, I'm "stuck". Feeling emotionally "stuck" is probably one of the most dangerous places for me to be in. My thought process is very different than many others and I don't handle feeling "stuck" very well.
Recently, we made a huge move from Miami to Orlando. My hubby, Randy, has been praying for God to open doors for him to be able to be a full-time music minister for several years now. When this opportunity came up for him to be a full-time music director at a church in Orlando, it was not even anything that Randy and I considered or attempted to entertain. He has most of his family in Miami and I have ALL of my family in Miami. It just was not an option to be so far away from them. We were in Orlando for a funeral and were asked to meet up with the pastors. We didn't want to be rude. On the way to meet them, Randy and I discussed all of the reasons why this was NOT a good idea. During the meeting, however, God shot each and every one of our concerns down and made it very clear to us that it was not about what we wanted but about what He needed us to do and we got the point loud and clear. We knew this was a God thing and we had to be obedient, despite our own struggles with the idea.
Every thing would change from that point. Our living situation, our income, the girls' school and friends, our family life. And, just in case there weren't enough changes, let's throw in a baby in the picture (although they are avoiding) because if things are going to change, might as well do it big! Let's make this pregnancy completely different, too! Let's make it high risk with weekly progesterone shots in the rear end, throw in a dash of morning sickness, a pint of nausea, a gallon of extra weight to carry around, and a whole lot of hormones! God is funny.
Needless to say, having all of these changes happening at the same time caused me to feel, well "stuck". Not knowing how to express what I felt, I shut down emotionally. With pressure coming from every possible angle, my stress level had reached an all-time high. After having four panic attacks in one week, I decided that our situation was no longer my concern to figure out, but God's. He brought us here. He confirmed it. He has us here for a purpose. Although I knew this move was God's will, it did not make the situation less challenging.
As I reached my emotional rock bottom this past Thursday night, there was no supernatural, movie worthy rescue. No perfect-timing solution to our situation. In desperation, I cried out to God and in His silent response I understood that the only thing left to do was to change my perspective about the situation. Make adjustments where needed but my attitude about this HAD to change. There is still a lot that I need to learn and this situation is molding me to become better. I just have to be still when I feel "stuck" and adjust my perspective. Seems simple, but it has proven to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
If you're going through a similar situation, I encourage you to find a godly person to vent with but I also encourage you to pray about it and somehow change the way that you look at the situation. What is God teaching you? What are some changes that YOU can make with the things that you CAN control? I know that in my case God is teaching me patience, compassion, joy, and a number of godly characteristics that I wouldn't otherwise have had a chance to practice had we not been obedient and allowed Him to put us in this situation.
He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
Things to consider in your heart:
1. In your stillness, do you know that whether your situation is good or bad, He is STILL God?
2. Is He still exalted when you are around others?
3. Is He still exalted in your own heart?
Please feel free to email me for prayer requests, questions, or concerns at myheart4yoursleeve@gmail.com.
Psalm 46
Recently, we made a huge move from Miami to Orlando. My hubby, Randy, has been praying for God to open doors for him to be able to be a full-time music minister for several years now. When this opportunity came up for him to be a full-time music director at a church in Orlando, it was not even anything that Randy and I considered or attempted to entertain. He has most of his family in Miami and I have ALL of my family in Miami. It just was not an option to be so far away from them. We were in Orlando for a funeral and were asked to meet up with the pastors. We didn't want to be rude. On the way to meet them, Randy and I discussed all of the reasons why this was NOT a good idea. During the meeting, however, God shot each and every one of our concerns down and made it very clear to us that it was not about what we wanted but about what He needed us to do and we got the point loud and clear. We knew this was a God thing and we had to be obedient, despite our own struggles with the idea.
Every thing would change from that point. Our living situation, our income, the girls' school and friends, our family life. And, just in case there weren't enough changes, let's throw in a baby in the picture (although they are avoiding) because if things are going to change, might as well do it big! Let's make this pregnancy completely different, too! Let's make it high risk with weekly progesterone shots in the rear end, throw in a dash of morning sickness, a pint of nausea, a gallon of extra weight to carry around, and a whole lot of hormones! God is funny.
Needless to say, having all of these changes happening at the same time caused me to feel, well "stuck". Not knowing how to express what I felt, I shut down emotionally. With pressure coming from every possible angle, my stress level had reached an all-time high. After having four panic attacks in one week, I decided that our situation was no longer my concern to figure out, but God's. He brought us here. He confirmed it. He has us here for a purpose. Although I knew this move was God's will, it did not make the situation less challenging.
As I reached my emotional rock bottom this past Thursday night, there was no supernatural, movie worthy rescue. No perfect-timing solution to our situation. In desperation, I cried out to God and in His silent response I understood that the only thing left to do was to change my perspective about the situation. Make adjustments where needed but my attitude about this HAD to change. There is still a lot that I need to learn and this situation is molding me to become better. I just have to be still when I feel "stuck" and adjust my perspective. Seems simple, but it has proven to be one of the hardest things I've ever had to do.
If you're going through a similar situation, I encourage you to find a godly person to vent with but I also encourage you to pray about it and somehow change the way that you look at the situation. What is God teaching you? What are some changes that YOU can make with the things that you CAN control? I know that in my case God is teaching me patience, compassion, joy, and a number of godly characteristics that I wouldn't otherwise have had a chance to practice had we not been obedient and allowed Him to put us in this situation.
He says, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10
Things to consider in your heart:
1. In your stillness, do you know that whether your situation is good or bad, He is STILL God?
2. Is He still exalted when you are around others?
3. Is He still exalted in your own heart?
Please feel free to email me for prayer requests, questions, or concerns at myheart4yoursleeve@gmail.com.
Psalm 46
Amen!
ReplyDeleteAwesome read. Thanks for pouring your heart out in such a manner.
ReplyDelete